It's been a wild month. The last few weeks of camp, chemo for my dad, a trip to the beach, the start of 1st Grade for Sierra and soon, the start of Pre-Kindergarten for Chase.
I think the kids enjoyed camp this summer. They learned to play with new friends, did a ton of art projects and just enjoyed the summer as much as they could. Both Sierra and Chase took swim lessons and they are pretty confident swimmers these days. I'm hoping swim team is in our future, so we just need to work on swimming the entire length of the pool.
My dad started chemo this month just before our trip to the beach. He said he felt a little tired and had some indigestion after the first one but was mostly ok. Until he went back to the Dr. and they told him his kidney's were failing. So, after 5 days in the hospital and lots of fluid, he was ok again. His second dose of chemo was a little worse, he didn't feel as good, upset stomach and then he fainted... twice. But once he took some Pepcid AC he was feeling better. His third dose of chemo is Thursday of this week. He's lost a little weight and is looking good, but I know the diet and diabetes is taking it's toll on him.
The trip to the beach was good. There was a little tension because my parents didn't make it the first few days due to the kidney's failing but once they got there things were better. My dad missed his friend Dick Baum and mentioned that he'd like to go like that. Makes me sad to think my dad is thinking so much of his own mortality. Ron's dad was a little over aggressive with Chase a few times and thankfully Ron's mother talked to him about that. But all in all, we had some great days on the beach, a few nice dinner's out, kids loved the rides at Trimpers and the Boardwalk and we brought home some new pets. Hermit crabs! Sparkle and Shelly are the new playthings in the house. They take train rides and play in the barbie house.
Sierra in 1st Grade. I know it's so cliche, but I really can't believe I have a 1st Grader who will be 7 in a few months. How did 7 years fly by? I want to go back to when she was little and make sure I did everything right and that she has everything she needs to prepare her for school and friends and activities. I feel like my impression on her is waning and she's becoming her own little person which is great, but I still want to help her grow into a successful and confident and kind little girl.
Chase is turning into my little man. Although he is still stubborn as can be and gives me a lot of trouble and can rile me up like no one else, he is sweet and I think he will turn out fine once we get past the stubbornness. :) Again, hard to believe he will be 5 years old soon. My baby is growing up and will learn to read this year. He's been out of camp/school for 2 weeks now and he's been insisting that he has school each day. Thank goodness he'll be excited for school on Friday.
And Ron and I... well, same old story there. Things are better in a relationship sense, working together to get things done, doing things as a family, etc, but the romance, passion, attraction just isn't there for him. I mostly think he married me because I wasn't demanding and pushy and he could basically live his life the way he wanted to without too much interference from me. He goes to football games, races, works out, sits in his office, etc and I don't say much about it. I just wonder why someone would marry out of convenience. I think he loves me in a friendly sense. In a comfortable, friendly way, he loves me. The last 10 years and the next 10 should be full of passion and love, proud moments, arguments, frustrations but ultimately happiness. But it seems like it's just the same old thing everyday. No passion, no attraction, no romance, (no sex). I feel a little like I'm running out of time to have passion in my life. Should I disrupt this convenient life to find it? Or do I live my life as it is and deal with the life I've made? I want more for my children. I want them to see passion in a relationship and marriage. I want them to find it for themselves one day. But if we don't have it then how will they know to look for it in their lives? Can I also mention that it really bothers me that he doesn't like getting family pictures. When I ask him to take them with us and once in a great while he says yes, he never smiles. He looks miserable. Is it too much to ask that we have a family memento that shows us happy? Or does he want our memories to look like he is miserable? And is that how he wants his kids to see him 50 years from now? I suppose he doesn't care.
Which is why I wonder why I care and continue to care and fight for this relationship.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Forever changing life
This post was written in March of 2009.
How life changes... and so fast! Shortly after my last post, Ron and I had a 20 minute discussion about where we were at in our relationship, how unhappy we both seemed to be and ended the conversation with me moving out with the kids. That night as we went to sleep, I asked him if this was what he wanted. He said "of course not" and that was the end of that episode of life. Things gradually got better and these days things are pretty good. Not picture perfect, but it doesn't have to be.
It's hard for me to believe we were that close to calling it quits with very little discussion of what was wrong. It's also hard for me to believe that we came out of it so fast. We still have our moments and I still get irritated knowing that.
How life changes... and so fast! Shortly after my last post, Ron and I had a 20 minute discussion about where we were at in our relationship, how unhappy we both seemed to be and ended the conversation with me moving out with the kids. That night as we went to sleep, I asked him if this was what he wanted. He said "of course not" and that was the end of that episode of life. Things gradually got better and these days things are pretty good. Not picture perfect, but it doesn't have to be.
It's hard for me to believe we were that close to calling it quits with very little discussion of what was wrong. It's also hard for me to believe that we came out of it so fast. We still have our moments and I still get irritated knowing that.
Three years and nine months
Wow... almost 4 years have passed. It seems like eons ago. I'm shocked at what I ate, but not really shocked by what I wrote.
I think I sometimes still feel that way (my last post) although I know it's a lot less these days. I sound needy and maybe I am. I remember that company dinner, how awful I acted and how horrible I felt. I was feeding off whatever vibe I was getting from Ron but I try to make my own happiness more often these days.
But the kids... I miss those days of walking in the house and having the kids excited to see me. It happens from time to time, although it's usually picking them up at Mt. Carmel this summer, or for Sierra it was seeing her smile when she stepped off the bus. I love being able to drop them off and pick them up when I can although I seem to enlist a lot of people to help me so that I can get to work a bit earlier, work a bit later, etc. All this just to get 7-8 hours of work in on a given day. But picking them up, bringing them home, hearing about their day and figuring out how to spend the next 4 hours before bedtime is usually great. Sierra is my little learner with a great need for "taking care" of babies, her brother or anyone else she can find. She starts first grade in a few weeks (gasp!) and talks about being a teacher and a doctor when she grows up. Chase is my instigator. He is insufferably stubborn, adorably cute and cuddly and can find fun in doing just about anything although it probably isn't safe or will get him in trouble for something. He strives to be a "big brother" and use a knife and grill lighter. Yes... I'm already scared of what lies ahead for him... and me.
They warm my heart when they grab my hand walking across the street or into a store although there are times when I have my hand out as an invitation and they turn me down. I try to invite them to hold my hand as often as I can because those days are coming, when they turn me down more often than not. Bedtime, although it takes forever (1-2 hrs), is my treasured time. Lying in bed, reading story after story, snuggling up with my kids, while they ask me to lay with them all night. They volunteer the "I love you mommy" most nights and I smile to myself and think, thank God for moments like these.
Yesterday was one of those days when Ron didn't do much while I cleaned the kitchen, did laundry took Chase to a birthday party, watched both kids while they played in the neighbors pool, went to the grocery store, made dinner and got them to bed (he helped with bed). He did mow the lawn and spray weeds though. Here I was thinking things were better. I think they usually are better, just yesterday was a bad day. Ron had hives and didn't feel good. Today I asked him if he was going to make a new appt. with the allergist and get a referral. His response... Yes Dear. But maybe if he felt better then maybe he wouldn't have days like that.
We've started being more romantically playful. He emails me sometimes just to say he loves me or texts me saying "good morning sexy". I text him to say thank you for helping with lunches or doing dishes in the morning before he leaves for work. Sometimes I even email to say I love you. It hasn't gone much further than that though. It makes me feel better although I still don't feel like it's enough. I think I've missed out on an important part of a marriage over the last 9 years. Attraction.
I may not be a supermodel but I don't wear a Muumuu and I do my best to keep my newly acquired muffin top from seeing the light of day. All things considered, I feel like I've done a fairly decent job of taking care of myself as a working mom of two kids. I get to the gym once in a great while. I try to control my sugar binges. But overall, I'm essentially the same weight I was when I met him. That weight is just redistributed to some not so appropriate places now. Still... I feel like I've done an OK job of keeping up with myself. But, he is no more attracted to me now than he was when we got married. Maybe he never will be and can I spend my life in that situation? I don't know...
The last two times we were "together", I initiated, because he told me that I don't initiate anymore. (I told him I gave up years ago after being turned down WAY to many times). So I did it, twice, and it was great. But, it's been months and he hasn't' bothered to initiate since. So the other night I told him, it would be nice if he did since I've done it the last few times. He said ok, gave me a kiss and went to sleep. That was 4 days ago. I wonder how long it will be.
There are times when I think I'm a really lucky girl. I'm healthy, my kids are healthy, we have supportive parents that love their grandchildren, we have great jobs, and live a fairly luxurious lifestyle. I am truly thankful for all those things. When I think of it all, I wonder if it's too much to ask for that attraction in my marriage too? Maybe it is...
I think I sometimes still feel that way (my last post) although I know it's a lot less these days. I sound needy and maybe I am. I remember that company dinner, how awful I acted and how horrible I felt. I was feeding off whatever vibe I was getting from Ron but I try to make my own happiness more often these days.
But the kids... I miss those days of walking in the house and having the kids excited to see me. It happens from time to time, although it's usually picking them up at Mt. Carmel this summer, or for Sierra it was seeing her smile when she stepped off the bus. I love being able to drop them off and pick them up when I can although I seem to enlist a lot of people to help me so that I can get to work a bit earlier, work a bit later, etc. All this just to get 7-8 hours of work in on a given day. But picking them up, bringing them home, hearing about their day and figuring out how to spend the next 4 hours before bedtime is usually great. Sierra is my little learner with a great need for "taking care" of babies, her brother or anyone else she can find. She starts first grade in a few weeks (gasp!) and talks about being a teacher and a doctor when she grows up. Chase is my instigator. He is insufferably stubborn, adorably cute and cuddly and can find fun in doing just about anything although it probably isn't safe or will get him in trouble for something. He strives to be a "big brother" and use a knife and grill lighter. Yes... I'm already scared of what lies ahead for him... and me.
They warm my heart when they grab my hand walking across the street or into a store although there are times when I have my hand out as an invitation and they turn me down. I try to invite them to hold my hand as often as I can because those days are coming, when they turn me down more often than not. Bedtime, although it takes forever (1-2 hrs), is my treasured time. Lying in bed, reading story after story, snuggling up with my kids, while they ask me to lay with them all night. They volunteer the "I love you mommy" most nights and I smile to myself and think, thank God for moments like these.
Yesterday was one of those days when Ron didn't do much while I cleaned the kitchen, did laundry took Chase to a birthday party, watched both kids while they played in the neighbors pool, went to the grocery store, made dinner and got them to bed (he helped with bed). He did mow the lawn and spray weeds though. Here I was thinking things were better. I think they usually are better, just yesterday was a bad day. Ron had hives and didn't feel good. Today I asked him if he was going to make a new appt. with the allergist and get a referral. His response... Yes Dear. But maybe if he felt better then maybe he wouldn't have days like that.
We've started being more romantically playful. He emails me sometimes just to say he loves me or texts me saying "good morning sexy". I text him to say thank you for helping with lunches or doing dishes in the morning before he leaves for work. Sometimes I even email to say I love you. It hasn't gone much further than that though. It makes me feel better although I still don't feel like it's enough. I think I've missed out on an important part of a marriage over the last 9 years. Attraction.
I may not be a supermodel but I don't wear a Muumuu and I do my best to keep my newly acquired muffin top from seeing the light of day. All things considered, I feel like I've done a fairly decent job of taking care of myself as a working mom of two kids. I get to the gym once in a great while. I try to control my sugar binges. But overall, I'm essentially the same weight I was when I met him. That weight is just redistributed to some not so appropriate places now. Still... I feel like I've done an OK job of keeping up with myself. But, he is no more attracted to me now than he was when we got married. Maybe he never will be and can I spend my life in that situation? I don't know...
The last two times we were "together", I initiated, because he told me that I don't initiate anymore. (I told him I gave up years ago after being turned down WAY to many times). So I did it, twice, and it was great. But, it's been months and he hasn't' bothered to initiate since. So the other night I told him, it would be nice if he did since I've done it the last few times. He said ok, gave me a kiss and went to sleep. That was 4 days ago. I wonder how long it will be.
There are times when I think I'm a really lucky girl. I'm healthy, my kids are healthy, we have supportive parents that love their grandchildren, we have great jobs, and live a fairly luxurious lifestyle. I am truly thankful for all those things. When I think of it all, I wonder if it's too much to ask for that attraction in my marriage too? Maybe it is...
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The Daily Grind
It's been months. I guess I haven't found the time or haven't had the need to blog lately. But I need a place to keep track of my thoughts, good and bad. I need a place to keep track of the amazing things my kids do. Keep track of how we've evolved as a family. Looking at my last blog about bedtime, I know we're doing so much better. It's nice to know that we are moving forward. Sierra still takes a long time to go to bed with me but there's less arguing and fewer "distractions" these days. So... from here on out, I'm just going to talk about my day.
We went to Ron's company holiday dinner last night. He was in a bad mood most of the day and he wasn't looking forward to the dinner, so I ended up not looking forward to it. I had planned to wear a bridesmaid dress from my best friends wedding. I thought Ron was going to wear black slacks and a black blazer. When he got dressed in khaki's, I knew I had to change. I was annoyed, I was looking forward to being dressed up. Once we got to the dinner, I was on edge. Ron didn't hold my hand walking in, never put his arm around me or anything. So I ended up being a bitch most of the night, making snide remarks about people, our relationship, etc. Ron said "Chris S. is one of the reasons I asked you to marry me!" and I replied "Oh... you're the reason I'm miserable! Thanks!". Once I was around the girls, I ended up just complaining about Ron the whole time. By the time we left, I was so on edge, Ron was miserable and it was a bad night. We were home by 11:30pm and I just went to sleep. In the morning I was still miserable. Ron was in his office but I wanted to talk to him. I needed him to know that I was miserable and I think it's because I believe he is miserable with me. How can I be happy with someone who is miserable being with me, ya know? He just got defensive and said "it's all about you... " and "you should go see a doctor". I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he replied "I'm still here". Which makes me think he's only still here because he has nothing better to do. Why can't he say, "Of course I want to be with you. What can I do to make you happy?" After 45 minutes or so, he's just annoyed with me being upset and it all got turned around about how Ron is miserable. So... nothing was ever resolved, I finally perked up, we went to pick up the the kids.
Sierra and Chase both had a pretty bad night at the grandparents. They had fun, but Chase woke up at 1:30 and 2:30, then was awake at 6:15am. Sierra woke up and went into grandparents room at 3am to sleep on the floor but finally got in their bed. So by the time we picked them up, Sierra was so overtired and miserable. She cried horribly leaving. Chase had just gotten up from a 2.5 hour nap. We got home and Ron took care of the well water, salt, soda ash stuff while I took care of the kids. Then he wanted to watch football, so Sierra went upstairs to watch Dora Princess. I took Chase to Safeway and the balloon store to get stuff for Sierra's party. When I got home, Sierra was asleep on the chair in the family room. Chase went to bed for a bit and Ron was on his computer. He went between being on the computer, my laptop and watching football and the race all day. He played a little with the kids while watching tv. I was trying to fold laundry and clean up the house a bit.
Ron wanted Chinese for dinner so he looked at all the menu's, decided on what he wanted and I offered to call in the order. I asked who was picking it up, he said whoever, which means me. So I finished the load of laundry I was working on then went out and told him to make something for the kids to eat. I got home and he had fixed fishsticks but nothing else to go with them. So I got them some applesauce and pears. After dinner, I got a bath together for Sierra in our room, then took Chase into his bathroom for his bath. I asked ROn to come up and watch her. He sat on the bed with the computer and watched football while she was in the bath. I was annoyed because by the time I finished putting Chase to bed, Sierra had somehow spilled water out of the tub and there was water all over the floor. He cleaned out the toys, I got her out of the bath and I got her partially dressed so I could cut her hair. Ron went downstairs and I finally heard him cleaning up dishes. I was glad to know he was helping by cleaning things up.
Once I got Sierra to bed, it was 8:30pm and I cleaned out the old food from the fridge, washed out the tupperware, did some more laundry, then got on the computer. he went to upstairs around 10pm, was asleep by 10:30pm and it's now almost midnight while I write this.
It annoyed me that he didn't do much of anything all day. He got a nap while I was out with Chase. I got Sierra's cake, ordered ballooons, did 4 loads of laundry, cleaned up all the toys, cut Sierra's hair, cut Chase's nails and trimmed his hair.
The day started off horribly. I was really close to just saying that we shouldn't be together. I know that's not what I want, but I also don't want to live with someone who isn't happy being with me or our family.
I hope to keep track of how often I feel really bad like this.
I ate Eggs Benedict, a few chocolate pretzels, general tso's chicken, sugar wafers and peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.
Guess that's it for today. Hopefully every night won't be this long!!!
We went to Ron's company holiday dinner last night. He was in a bad mood most of the day and he wasn't looking forward to the dinner, so I ended up not looking forward to it. I had planned to wear a bridesmaid dress from my best friends wedding. I thought Ron was going to wear black slacks and a black blazer. When he got dressed in khaki's, I knew I had to change. I was annoyed, I was looking forward to being dressed up. Once we got to the dinner, I was on edge. Ron didn't hold my hand walking in, never put his arm around me or anything. So I ended up being a bitch most of the night, making snide remarks about people, our relationship, etc. Ron said "Chris S. is one of the reasons I asked you to marry me!" and I replied "Oh... you're the reason I'm miserable! Thanks!". Once I was around the girls, I ended up just complaining about Ron the whole time. By the time we left, I was so on edge, Ron was miserable and it was a bad night. We were home by 11:30pm and I just went to sleep. In the morning I was still miserable. Ron was in his office but I wanted to talk to him. I needed him to know that I was miserable and I think it's because I believe he is miserable with me. How can I be happy with someone who is miserable being with me, ya know? He just got defensive and said "it's all about you... " and "you should go see a doctor". I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he replied "I'm still here". Which makes me think he's only still here because he has nothing better to do. Why can't he say, "Of course I want to be with you. What can I do to make you happy?" After 45 minutes or so, he's just annoyed with me being upset and it all got turned around about how Ron is miserable. So... nothing was ever resolved, I finally perked up, we went to pick up the the kids.
Sierra and Chase both had a pretty bad night at the grandparents. They had fun, but Chase woke up at 1:30 and 2:30, then was awake at 6:15am. Sierra woke up and went into grandparents room at 3am to sleep on the floor but finally got in their bed. So by the time we picked them up, Sierra was so overtired and miserable. She cried horribly leaving. Chase had just gotten up from a 2.5 hour nap. We got home and Ron took care of the well water, salt, soda ash stuff while I took care of the kids. Then he wanted to watch football, so Sierra went upstairs to watch Dora Princess. I took Chase to Safeway and the balloon store to get stuff for Sierra's party. When I got home, Sierra was asleep on the chair in the family room. Chase went to bed for a bit and Ron was on his computer. He went between being on the computer, my laptop and watching football and the race all day. He played a little with the kids while watching tv. I was trying to fold laundry and clean up the house a bit.
Ron wanted Chinese for dinner so he looked at all the menu's, decided on what he wanted and I offered to call in the order. I asked who was picking it up, he said whoever, which means me. So I finished the load of laundry I was working on then went out and told him to make something for the kids to eat. I got home and he had fixed fishsticks but nothing else to go with them. So I got them some applesauce and pears. After dinner, I got a bath together for Sierra in our room, then took Chase into his bathroom for his bath. I asked ROn to come up and watch her. He sat on the bed with the computer and watched football while she was in the bath. I was annoyed because by the time I finished putting Chase to bed, Sierra had somehow spilled water out of the tub and there was water all over the floor. He cleaned out the toys, I got her out of the bath and I got her partially dressed so I could cut her hair. Ron went downstairs and I finally heard him cleaning up dishes. I was glad to know he was helping by cleaning things up.
Once I got Sierra to bed, it was 8:30pm and I cleaned out the old food from the fridge, washed out the tupperware, did some more laundry, then got on the computer. he went to upstairs around 10pm, was asleep by 10:30pm and it's now almost midnight while I write this.
It annoyed me that he didn't do much of anything all day. He got a nap while I was out with Chase. I got Sierra's cake, ordered ballooons, did 4 loads of laundry, cleaned up all the toys, cut Sierra's hair, cut Chase's nails and trimmed his hair.
The day started off horribly. I was really close to just saying that we shouldn't be together. I know that's not what I want, but I also don't want to live with someone who isn't happy being with me or our family.
I hope to keep track of how often I feel really bad like this.
I ate Eggs Benedict, a few chocolate pretzels, general tso's chicken, sugar wafers and peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.
Guess that's it for today. Hopefully every night won't be this long!!!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Favorite Time of Day
Walking in the house from work is my favorite time of day. My daughter screams "Mommy's home" and runs to give me a hug. My son instantly turns towards my voice and starts crawling my direction. I'm amazed every day that they are glad to see me. I get a quick rundown of the day from the babysitter, say bye to her at the door with kids in my arms or by my side and then we get a few quick minutes of playtime before I start dinner. The evening seems to fly by and before you know it, Daddy comes home, we eat, I clean up about 25% of the meal and toys strewn around, then we are off to the bathtub. I'm always wishing we had time for a quick 15 or 20 minute walk after dinner. Maybe I should aspire for a walk just once a week.
Here's where things go wrong... bedtime. My daughter manipulates me throughout bedtime. More books, have to potty, need water, change the music, turn the light on and off, she wants to sit with me (hard to resist). So it takes me over an hour to get her to bed. My husband manages to get her into bed in about 20 minutes. I just don't get it. I've said too many times that I hate bedtime. I end up frustrated with her and frustrated with myself that I can't enjoy bedtime with my daughter. So instead of dealing with it, I've made myself busy with my son at bedtime so my husband ends up putting her to bed more often.
But once the kids are in bed, I feel like my "day" begins. Now is my time... my time to get something accomplished. There are times when I wish it was truly "my time" but it ends up being time to get laundry done, dishes done, dishwasher emptied, bills payed, emails answered, etc. Many nights I run to the grocery store or target at 8:30 or 9pm because I don't have any other time in the day to do it. But it's still my time. I may not always be doing what I want... getting manicures, reading, going to a pilates class, shopping or just sitting out enjoying a margarita... but it's still my time. Maybe someday I'll forget all those things I'm supposed to do and just do what I want.
Here's where things go wrong... bedtime. My daughter manipulates me throughout bedtime. More books, have to potty, need water, change the music, turn the light on and off, she wants to sit with me (hard to resist). So it takes me over an hour to get her to bed. My husband manages to get her into bed in about 20 minutes. I just don't get it. I've said too many times that I hate bedtime. I end up frustrated with her and frustrated with myself that I can't enjoy bedtime with my daughter. So instead of dealing with it, I've made myself busy with my son at bedtime so my husband ends up putting her to bed more often.
But once the kids are in bed, I feel like my "day" begins. Now is my time... my time to get something accomplished. There are times when I wish it was truly "my time" but it ends up being time to get laundry done, dishes done, dishwasher emptied, bills payed, emails answered, etc. Many nights I run to the grocery store or target at 8:30 or 9pm because I don't have any other time in the day to do it. But it's still my time. I may not always be doing what I want... getting manicures, reading, going to a pilates class, shopping or just sitting out enjoying a margarita... but it's still my time. Maybe someday I'll forget all those things I'm supposed to do and just do what I want.
Why am I blogging?
In the course of a day or week I mention to friends, co-workers, parents, the babysitter and husband little bits of my life that make me happy, frustrate me or are just simple little things that happen. But there isn't any place to consolidate all those little bits. Maybe I do it on purpose... so no one sees the full picture. No one person can put it all together and see what's really going on with me. Course, maybe I'm fooling no one.
So this will be my place where I pull it all together. I'm hoping I don't end up complaining all the time. I want to be able to talk about my kids, my constant amazement of them, how fast they change. I'd like to share what I thought marriage would be and what it has turned out to be. And of course sharing those two most important aspects of my life mixed with my job, career, profession or whatever else you'd like to call it. In my heart, my marriage and children are so important to me but it always seems they revolve around my job. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
So all in all, I think I need a place to talk about where I'm at in life, see if anyone relates and last but not least, a place to vent. Hopefully it will be a great resource and diary of sorts for me to look back on. Even better if people can read it and identify with me.
So here's to blogging...
So this will be my place where I pull it all together. I'm hoping I don't end up complaining all the time. I want to be able to talk about my kids, my constant amazement of them, how fast they change. I'd like to share what I thought marriage would be and what it has turned out to be. And of course sharing those two most important aspects of my life mixed with my job, career, profession or whatever else you'd like to call it. In my heart, my marriage and children are so important to me but it always seems they revolve around my job. Shouldn't it be the other way around?
So all in all, I think I need a place to talk about where I'm at in life, see if anyone relates and last but not least, a place to vent. Hopefully it will be a great resource and diary of sorts for me to look back on. Even better if people can read it and identify with me.
So here's to blogging...
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